Tuesday, March 30, 2010

We've Moved!

We... ok, I moved.

this blog is now in a new home, check it out at http://madmansmess.com/wordpress/

Do me a favor and turn the lights off when you leave here, ok? Thanks. :-)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Things I Find

Ok folks, it appears that "the big fake out" was a bust and it really is spring in Minnesota. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, it's just that it means one thing more than any other...  yard maintenance.

Leaves? Raked
Trash? Picked up
Flower Beds? Prepped and ready to go... but wait... this one comes with a tale.

I was digging in one of the new flower beds out back and discovered something that was funny, yet kind of disturbing at the same time.

"Earthdays™" Happy Meal tray

I typed "McDonald's Earth Days" into Google and found a reference to it at secinfo.com (you know, cuz I'm thorough like that) and according to the document on file there, it was a Happy Meal promotion run in conjunction with the National Audubon Society and launched in April... of 1994. 


©1993 McDonald's Corp - why did they wait until '94?

Now I'm sure some of you are expecting me to start relentlessly ripping on McDonald's, but no. That was the mid-ninty's and recycling was all the rage back then... or it was starting to be, anyway. I just find it funny that this corporate experiment in recycling and childhood education on the subject wound up being buried in my backyard for probably all of the 16 years since it was purchased, and came out in such good condition. Knowing my kids, it was probably crushed before it was buried. 

The sad fact is, we are leaving more evidence of our existence than any other generation ever in Earth's history. Future archeologists will be digging up these "artifacts" and trying to figure out what cultural significance something like this might have had. 

*Insert wavy, foggy "let's go to the future" special effect here*

"We believe this was a vessel of some sort used in a bizarre ritual known as 'EarthDays' as the markings on it translate to. 'EarthDays' were an aboriginal celebration for the god known as 'Mother Nature' depicted here by the rounded 'M' symbol, most likely representing her breasts. This container was probably used to hold an offering of some sort, perhaps the blood of a small mammal."

Oh come on now, you KNOW our trash will outlive all our best attempts at permanent data storage. We're hard pressed to play back stuff from 30 years ago... now fast-forward 300 years.. or a thousand. Or ten thousand. At some point in our future, some shmoe will dig up something as simple as a plastic laundry basket and assume the porous structure was to let the blood easily flow out. Because you know, everything in history has a bizarre sacrificial or sexual ritual attached to it when you have no idea what it's real use was. 

But I digress. 

Finding this in my yard has really got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I should start doing more to ensure things get properly recycled and reused. Congratulations, McDonald's. I wasn't in your target market for that campaign and it took 16 years, but someone learned something from it. 

Now all I need to know is what the hell this tray was for? I'm thinking blood containment. 

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Big Fake-Out

It's starting to thaw here in Minnesota. All the ice fishing shacks in the southern 1/3 of the state are gone, the northern 2/3 have another week or so to get them gone. I'm starting to see signs of my driveway under the pack ice. The potholes are forming in the streets and the sidewalks are sheets of ice thanks to all the melting snow. The sun is shining, and it's supposed to get up around 40˚ or so the next few days. (For all you Celsius-users out there, that's about 4.5˚c)

I may just open a window or two this afternoon. Seriously.

The stores are setting up all their lawn mowers and lawn fertilizer. People are venturing out in nothing more than heavy sweaters or hoodies, electing to leave their heavy winter coats hanging in the closet or draped over the chair by the door. It sure seems like spring is on its way, but I'm not falling for it. Oh no, I've been suckered by the big fake-out before and I've learned my lesson.

Just about the time I start thinking about tuning up FrankenMower© and trying to squeeze one more season out of it, the illusion of spring will cruelly be yanked away.

Oh sure, I'm enjoying not having to dress up like I'm on an arctic expedition when I'm going to the store that is 3 blocks away, but I know that as long as the temps keep dropping at night we're still in danger of winter kicking our butts at least one more time before it heads out. It's happened before and it will happen again. Just when we start thinking it's really over, WHAM!  Have another foot of snow! Canada will decide to shove one more polar air mass our way and it will hang out for a week or more. (Thanks Canada. You shouldn't have, no really.)

Weather here does that all the time. Last year, we didn't really have a "spring," summer started early and it seemed like we were in for a long, hot one. (Get your minds out of the gutter.) Then it got "unseasonably mild" – meaning it barely got into the 90s and we were lucky if it got in the 80s for most of it. Then winter showed up – IN OCTOBER. Bitter cold and snow showed up and it looked like we were in for a long, brutal winter. Wrong! It warmed up and again became "unseasonably mild" until just before Christmas. It didn't actually get COLD again until sometime in January.

I'll be enjoying the big thaw, but you know I won't pack away my snow shovel anytime soon. Winter hasn't had long to play here and I know it's not giving up just yet.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to break up some of the glacier that is my driveway. If I remember correctly, there's asphalt under there.