Selective Memory

So I was out at the thrift store today, as is my usual Monday ritual. (Mondays are "customer appreciation" days so they knock off 25%) The trick is to be able to maneuver around the professional shoppers that are there to load up on eBay fodder. Some of those old ladies can be tough, they'll take you out at the knees if you get in their way.  You can't be afraid to hip-check them into a display stand and step on 'em to get to that bargain.

Oh relax... it's a joke. I've never purposely hip-checked or stepped on anyone.

Anyway, today's excursion to the store reminded me of something. It's funny because every single year without fail I complain about this same thing, yet every year, right after the holidays, I promptly forget all about what brings on my wrath and hatred.

They were playing Christmas music. Ok, we're close enough to Thanksgiving in the US that my typical "its too early" rant won't hold up... but I'm not complaining about just any Christmas carol. Oh no, this  partciular musical tribute to the birth of Jesus Christ is singularly the most annoying carol since "The 12 Days of Christmas."

Oh, see? You thought that's where I was going with it didn't you? Oh no, that's way too easy.

I'll give you a hint, parum-pa-pum-pum.

Every single time I hear "The Little Drummer Boy" I not only get visibly annoyed, but wish against wish I had SOME way to turn that insipid tune OFF.

It's horrible! How can anyone actually LIKE that song? What's worse, virtually every Christmas record ever made by countless artists from countless genres have made a version of it. You know why? Because every single one of them thought they could do a GOOD version of that song. Every single one of them were DEAD WRONG. It's not POSSIBLE.

I play drums. Not so much anymore, but I do play. As a drummer, I've lived my life avoiding pissing off friends, family and neighbors with my playing. It's not that I suck, but drums by themselves are not all that great to listen to unless you really like listening to drummers play by themselves. That's not a large percentage of the population, people. Sure the odd drum solo at the concert is pretty freakin' cool, but buy the live CD of that concert and see how many times you skip past the drum solo song. Yeah... time and place, people.

So an entire song about a little boy going to the manger to play his little drum "song" to the baby Jesus just kills me. I can see the wise men rolling their eyes in "when is he going to be done already" fashion. Jesus would probably be crying. Mary would be trying to comfort the baby and Joseph is glaring at the little drumming shithead.

Which one of you made a joke about the livestock being nervous? Hahahaha... get bent. :-P

The premise is stupid, the song is lame and it should be wiped from all human record as soon as it is physically and technologically possible to do so.

Other than that, it's ok. Ha.

Funny thing is, like I said, December 26th? I'll forget all about this song... until next year.