Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Can Haz Summer Now?

Hi folks.

Ok, this morning? It was cold.

 It was colder yesterday.

It will be cold again tomorrow.

I'm not talking "cold" like you folks down in the southern states call it. (28F? Really? I WISH we were that warm) I'm talking "Your nose freezes shut when you breathe in" cold. I'm talking -18F, not counting wind-chill, which is insane when even the slightest breeze kicks up.

Within the last month or so, Dave Price (@earlyshowdave on Twitter) the weatherman on the CBS Early Show has been in Minnesota TWICE. The first time he was near the Twin Cities because of the snowstorm. Yesterday, he was up in International Falls MN because they had the COLDEST TEMPS IN THE COUNTRY. AGAIN. Ok, so the folks up there are probably reading this and calling me a pussy and wishing they were as warm as -18F. (they were at -28F)

Point is, the holidays are over. New Years has passed. Winter can be DONE NOW. I'm sick of winter, snow, ice and everything else that isn't summery. The streets in my neighborhood are horrible. All of the sidestreets are covered with at least 3 inches of packed down ice and snow, and if that wasn't fun enough, now the ice layer is developing POTHOLES.

Yes, potholes in ice. Yea. We don't need asphalt trucks, we need a fucking zamboni. A BIG one.

 I got totally faked out when I moved to Minnesota. That was a harsh lesson I learned that very first winter. Down around Chicago, the snow plows basically sit and wait for the snow to start flying and they hit the streets big time. Not always perfect, but they do a pretty good job. So when I moved up here, naturally I thought "Hey, if ANYONE knows about moving some snow, Minnesota should be all over it!"

(insert funny trumpet "wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaahhhhh" effect here)

I've never driven down an exit ramp from the freeway and had to keep my wheels in the ruts in the ice before I moved to Minnesota. Ok, they've gotten better over the last several years, but still. That was unnerving to say the least.

 My point is, I live in the freakin' STATE CAPITOL and this is as good as it gets? Yikes. Maybe some of the folks up in International Falls can come down here and give these guys some tips. If not them, maybe some Canadians can come down and help us figure it out. And be quick about it... we have an "Alberta Clipper" headed our way, more snow followed by even colder temps by the end of the week.

With any luck, it will fill the potholes in the iceroads. My shocks will be happy.

If anyone needs me, I'll be curled up under my blanket. Someone nudge me in May.

3 comments:

  1. I take offense to you using the term "Alberta Clipper" in a derogatory manner. Quite frankly, you should be thanking Alberta for sending the snow your way. After all, without Alberta and it's Clippers, you would have to try to rent that Zamboni somewhere. And how easy do you think that's going to be? It's not like Zambonis are just parked on every corner.

    And you know why?

    Because they are all here. In Alberta.

    I beg you. Take the weather. I'm so done with it. Please. Please, please and please. Because if you don't take it, I'll be stuck with it.

    And trust me, no one here wants ME behind the wheel of a Zamboni...

    Great post, as usual. Thanks for the smile. :)

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  2. Gotta admit. We've had some cold, but overall our winter has been a mild one here in Detroit area. Very unusual. Our first 'big' snowstorm is to hit tomorrow afternoon and dump a whopping 2-4 inches. I consider myself lucky so far this year.

    I feel for you with what you're dealing with. I pray things continue to be mild here, and would love to be able to send it your way.

    Only about 3 more months of this though. Hang in there...

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  3. Umm, yeah. I'm just gonna tippy toe backwards outta this. I'll take my Fl. winter back to my blog with me.

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