In The House

Ok, I admit it... somewhere in my life, and I'm not sure exactly when, I became an Olympics junkie. I always enjoyed the Olympics, winter or summer, but I had my sports. Stuff like luge, skiing, hockey, etc. Now I watch damn near all of it.

Even Curling.

You heard me. I said curling.

Not sure what that is? It's that sport with the folks sliding big rocks with handles on them towards a target and two sweepers carefully moving alongside of the sliding rock, sweeping like mad in front of it as it moves towards a bulls-eye.

Ok, you Curling fans can stop cringing at my shitatstic description. I didn't want to start throwing official terms around right off the bat. I know they're called "stones" and the target is called "the house" and those folks escorting the stones down the ice are called, well they are sweepers, so yeah. I guess I was ok with that one. (Learn more on Wikipedia)

But here's the thing. I grew up and lived most of my life so far not knowing a damned thing about curling. Didn't know and was happy in my ignorance. Then came '06 and I accidentally started watching an Olympic curling match. It was like watching a traffic accident in slow-motion... I couldn't stop watching it. Then my son came upstairs and at first he made fun of me for watching it, but soon, he was also sucked into the vortex and there he was, on the couch watching it with me. It's mesmerizing. In this day of "wham-bam, in-your-face, constant non-stop action" sports, curling seems, well, dull. Slow. Like watching paint dry. But give it a few minutes... it's like a combination of darts, bowling, shuffleboard and good housekeeping mixed in with some serious cutthroat strategy. How the hell these people get a 40-pound hunk of granite to move so precisely is way beyond me. Physics man, dig it. Besides, what other sport can you hear a television announcer say "he really needs to throw a high hard one in there" without giggling? I mean really.

But I digress... these aren't just ordinary hunks of granite they are sliding around out there... oh no no no... there are only 2 quarries in the world that have this specific type of quartz-free granite. You can learn about how they make them in this YouTube video from the show "How It's Made" This is some seriously hard fucking granite.

I guess I have to do my part to support the US Curling Team, since most of 'em are from right here in Minnesota. Win or lose, I'll be watching in quiet fascination whoever winds up playing for the medals.

Now here's the thing... I like watching curling, I'm fascinated by it, but really? I have only the slightest grasp on what the hell the rules are. I get the basics of scoring. I know the sweepers can't touch any of the stones in play. I'm learning the more intricate rules on play, time limits, strategies, etc. but still have a way to go. At least it's easier to pick up than Rugby, which, while also fun to watch, looks like the rules were made up during a weekend-long kegger at an insane asylum. Hey, I'm a baseball guy, what do you want?

I'd like to try it sometime, if for no other reason than to say I've tried it. I'm sure I'd suck and whichever team I was on would lose immediately, but I can't help but think that, like bowling, there would be plenty of beer around to drown everyone's sorrows. In that case, are there really any losers?

I just turned on CNBC and what do you know? Curling is on. See ya.