When you least expect it...

Sometimes things happen for a reason, I guess.

     Yesterday, I looked at a calendar and had a realization. That this morning was going to be 15 years since my father passed away. I cannot believe for  a moment that it has been 15 years already. It hit me hard, it always does. Every year at this time, I suffer selective amnesia and wonder why I'm suddenly feeling moody and irritable. Sad and kinda depressed. Then I look at a calendar and check the date. Yep. Shit.
     It was 15 years ago this morning that I walked into my father's hospital room, to find him alone, mouth agape and stone-dead. We had gotten the call from the hospital that he had taken a turn and that we should get there as soon as possible. We weren't fast enough.

I love my dad and I still think about him almost every day. This time of year is usually pretty lonely, miserable and sad for me.

    Something happened yesterday that really helped pull me out of my annual funk. Funny thing is, it happened on Twitter... the very service I was bitching about in my last post. Yesterday, there was a social media fundraiser for cancer research. If you saw people tweeting, blogging and FaceBooking about #beatcancer, that's what it was all about. Every mention of #beatcancer netted another penny donation. It was a 24-hour online love-in to help one another and those that we care about. Loripop put it much more eloquently than I ever could, so I'll let you go read her account of events. Go ahead, I'll wait.

.... ok, long enough.

     It was amazing. The whole atmosphere of that thing was completely opposite of everything I had bitched about here the other day. I felt good, I had fun and hopefully, I helped some people who really need it. When it ended this morning at 9:00 am, I was tired (not as tired as Lori mind you, but tired nonetheless.) but I felt good.

Thing is, I'm still feeling good. Cancer didn't take my dad, it was a heart attack and misdiagnosis that took him from us, but knowing my dad and the kind of person he was, I'm sure he felt better too. That instead of sitting around in a bitter funk, I used the time to help someone else, even by doing something simple like tweeting the night away, brought him some peace. I know it did me.

Today, that good feeling from this morning is still with me. I spent the day celebrating my dad's life, not mourning his death. I think that phase is finally over. I guess #beatcancer helped me too.

Thanks to all who participated, it really was a special time.