Jobs

So have you ever looked at something, or been taking something apart and wonder about the people who made that thing in the first place? What it must be like? What that job might entail? How happy and/or miserable the people doing the job are? I do that all the time. Especially if the thing I am looking at is made in some far-off land, and is particularly cheap and superfluous,  I wonder what these people must think of us.

Yes, really.

I guess that's why two of my favorite shows on T.V. are "Dirty Jobs" and "How It's Made."

Yesterday, I had the distinct displeasure of de-lighting a pre-lit Christmas tree. We bought this thing 4-5 years ago thinking it was a great idea. No messing with lights, just pull it out and start decorating. The first couple of seasons, it was that easy and I loved it. Then, the inevitable started happening... bulbs started breaking, burning out, etc. It was pretty sad looking. You think finding the bad bulb that kills half your string of lights is hard enough, try it on a tangled mess that is a pre-lit tree.

So there I was, the three sections of my tree laid out in front of me. My original thought was to remove the lights, get them working again and possibly use them elsewhere in the house. Noble idea, right? Recycle, reuse, save the world kind of thinking.

That lasted about 10 minutes. Then the wire cutters came out.

Even with wire cutters, it took me over 2 hours of struggling labor to get those stupid fucking lights off that damn tree. Needless to say, my budding holiday spirit was taking a serious beating by the time I was done. Towards the end, I was snatching mutilated sections of used-to-be Christmas lights from the tree like I was a warrior snatching the beating heart from the chest of his enemy. There can be only one.

Finally, I was finished. Fake pine needles everywhere, a pile of segmented lights at my feet. I was victorious.

But you know? The only thing that kept running through my mind was the worker that did that job so well in the first place, and it probably only took him or her 15 minutes. Let me tell you, that was some serious good work. If I look at a string of lights too long, they get tangled. This person managed to twist the lights around branches and TIE KNOTS with it to keep them in place. ON PURPOSE. I've never in my life tied a knot in a string of lights with the intention of doing so. Oh and did I mention that this wasn't your ordinary, straight string of lights? Oh no, it had funky splits in the wiring so it (I imagine, I'm not going all "forensic files" on Christmas lights)  made a big loop. It was amazing to behold, and I compliment whoever did it on a job well done. I'm sorry I had to forcibly cut the fruits of your labor from my tree and crush it under my boot, but sometimes you get to be the tree, sometimes you get to be the dog.

Or something like that.